RENE group blog

RENE GROUP FEEDBACK

First a note on the blog:

The blog is worth 20/100 marks.

You need to organise your posts with headings that relate to PLANNING and RESEARCH so that they can be easily accessed.

At the moment there is little to suggest much thought or analysis has gone into this.

Check:    a2coalition.blogspot.com   to see what it should look like.

Check:    mrmmediastudies.blogspot.com   for a reminder of what the blog should include.

You are leaving yourselves a lot to do, at the moment the blog is very weak and also contains no information about what the film is either about, or what it is called. No treatment, no outline, no storyboards, no shot list. No visual references, no movies you were inspired by. It’s as bare as a pauper’s cupboards at Christmas. It looks like you just got some masks and went and did – shooting from the hip as they say. If your blog does not clearly show that some planning and research went into it, the blog will receive a very low mark and it will also reflect badly on the mark of the overall finished piece. Currently I have very little to help me gauge whether you are succeeding in your aims, because I do not know what your aims are, or how you planned to go about them. Anyway, I’ve told you this enough times, you ought to have done something about it by now.

Here’s the marking criteria for a level 1 blog:

Level 1 0–7 marks

Planning and research evidence will be incomplete;

There is minimal research into similar products and a potential target audience;

There is minimal organisation of actors, locations, costumes or props;

There is minimal work on shotlists, layouts, drafting, scripting or storyboarding;

There is minimal care in the presentation of the research and planning;

Time management may be very poor.

A blog in the current state would get you maybe 5 or 6 marks out of 20.

Production

Overall note on the production:

In simple terms I like it. Though I’m still not sure who or what it is about.

The what isn’t massively important because I can tell that it is a violent, sinister thriller, which has been influenced by A Clockwork Orange, amongst other things and therefore has a darkly humorous element.

The who is a bit of problem because it means that there is no one for the audience to connect with.

If you are going to start off with a POV (which is very intriguing for the audience) it is a convention of cinema that when the hood is removed, the character who is the source of the POV is revealed in the next cut, in some reasonably close shot. The audience must at least have the opportunity to at identify him, if not identify with him. 

The music is good – but you must show in your blog that you have at least tried to clear it – a letter asking for permission from the record company is required here to be posted on the blog.

I’m not sure if works to have the music for the whole sequence, but I don’t know what else you’ve got – any usable dialogue from Femi? I think you’re going to find yourselves undone a little here by the lack of planning.

Editing:

As a general rule you could trim a bit off most shots to tighten things up. The bit over black/hood seems especially long.

Stephen takes too long to get the gun out of his pocket. Tighten that. Just get him to pull it straight out, that shut cut up easily enough.

If you do that with a few shots it’ll add a lot more pace to it.

It’s currently also 40 seconds too short but I think you’re shooting something else anyway.

The bit with the teacher in the background; do you not have a shot you can cutaway to? A close-up of Femi maybe? And then just cut back to the fella in the hat.

Caption:

The caption is confusing. The font is too thin and I’m expecting to see the name of the distribution then production company first, then the film title, cast names, crew names etc (if you choose to include all of these, it is not strictly necessary but remember, you are being marked on the use of titles). Remember there are conventions that apply to all these things, to get these things right shows planning and research has been done.

The time caption gets lost at the side, centre it.


Music:
Despite what I said about the use of music, I have re-consulted the spec and have reached the conclusion that such a track would not be permissible. It is too well known and even if you did apply for the right to use it from the record company, you'd never get it. I suggest you use some copyright free music or perhaps something you've made yourself Rene.


Type copyright free music into google for a list of sites. 

Below is a break down of the mark structure and how you would be graded:

Level 3 36–47 marks

There is evidence of proficiency in the creative use of many of the following technical skills:

Producing material appropriate for the target audience and task; H3

The nature of the images suggests a darkly comic, violent thriller. This has been achieved with proficiency. Material has been shot in an inventive way to create tension and play with audience expectations.

No indication of what target audience might from blog however (I’m suspecting young men).

using titles appropriately according to institutional conventions; L2

Titles under-used and currently a little confusing.

using sound with images and editing appropriately for the task set; M3

Editing is proficient (with some trimming could be excellent). The use of the music track sets up a darkly ironic tone quite proficiently though it is perhaps overused.

shooting material appropriate to the task set;, including controlled use of the camera, attention to framing, variety of shot distance and close attention to mise-en-scene; M3

material generally proficiently shot, with some interesting visual images created. Eg. the whip pan shot to give a visceral sense of a violent punch. Various shot sizes used to quite proficiently. Framing occasionally inconsistent – cut from unmasked handheld POV to side angle tripod mid-shot, somewhat jarring (this is where you need the close-up of Femi as a reaction shot – he’s surrounded by men in masks, who are going to hurt him – you need this close-up, the audience needs to see and feel his terror). This is an issue of mise-en-scene also.

using editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer and making selective and appropriate use of shot transitions and other effects. H3

The editing is proficient but a lack of coverage has left only limited options. This does slightly affect the meaning of the piece because we are never really fully connected to the protagonist. See all the earlier comments. The time caption currently feels surplus to requirements. Unless you are intent on using another one in the last little bit. A colour grade has been used to make the image very contrasty and dark and moody which feels entirely appropriate given the subject matter. No transitions used, none were appropriate.

This comes out as a just about a Low level 3 with 36 out of a possible 60 marks.

That’s 60%, which scrapes a C. However there is no reason why this should not be a B.

Not bad but if you don’t get your blog in order and do a decent evaluation (20 mks)  the mark will be badly dragged down.

With the blog as it is you’d be left with 42 out of a possible 80. That’s 52.5%; a D.

You have much to do. Get to it.